LIFESTYLE

life update, WE’RE EXPECTING!

I can’t believe the time has finally come to write this post. I’ve wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember and I am so excited that our journey has finally begun.

I’ll be writing out our journey below so I can remember all the details but also so that others can hopefully find something to relate to and if you find yourself having a kidney stone in your pregnancy, at least you can know you aren’t alone.

Planning to start a family

Nick and I started talking about starting our family late last year and decided we would start trying in the summer of 2021. It was really important for us to take the time, talk about it and make sure we were both ready and excited to start this new journey together. We were very lucky that when we did start trying, it happened very quickly for us. I know for some, that’s one of the hardest parts of the journey and if you’re struggling I send my heart out to you.

FINDING OUT WE WERE EXPECTING

I had a feeling we were expecting pretty early on. When I was about two weeks along, my food aversions began along with some dizziness, aches and pains and my usual menstraul symptoms were completely absent. I usually have quite a tough time each month so that was a bit of a giveaway.

One day, I remember going to our favourite cafe in Fort Langley and ordering my beloved avocado toast. I took one look at it and felt nauseous. I couldn’t eat it. I knew something was off immediately and offered it to Nick. Nick however was in denial. He looked at the avocado toast and said it didn’t look good to him either…this was suspect if you ask me.

TAKING THE TEST

I ended up ordering some early result pregnancy tests on amazon after doing some research on which brand I wanted to use. I landed on first response pregnancy test. I ordered two boxes and tried so hard to wait to take them until I was only 3 days out from my period, I didn’t want to waste a test taking it too early and didn’t want to deal with the disappointment of a negative test before I was far enough along to know for sure.

One evening, Nick had taken Louie for a run in Fort Langley and I couldn’t take it any longer, I had to take a test. I took a test, waited the 3 minutes and with my heart beating out my chest looked at the test and to my complete shock, there were two lines. I was pregnant! I cried and stood there shocked, wishing I had waited for Nick to come home before taking one.

I tried calling him but he didn’t pick up the phone. So I turned on some bon iver music and thought out how I could tell him when he got home. When he called me back, I convinced him to come home right away so we could decide on what to make for dinner. When he walked in the door I had candles lit everywhere and bon iver playing in the background. I showed him the test and he was over the moon. We hugged and cried and it was just so very special.

We took another test that evening and a digital test that said ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to be sure and all three were positive.

THE FIRST TRIMESTER

The first trimester was a mixed bag. We had the excitement of telling immediate family and a bit of extended family that we were expecting which was incredibly exciting, I began finalizing my nursery plans which I had started last year (is anyone surprised about that?) and we bought a few adorable stuffed animals and blankets for our little baby.

TELLING FAMILY

We told my family almost immediately. We were on our way to the lake the Friday after we took our test and there was no way I could keep it a secret from them. I was already feeling unwell and my parents knew we were trying so we decided to tell them over our favourite family card game that we used to play with my great grandma on summer vacation, whist.

Nick and I drew out two fake cards and added them to our hands once the cards were dealt. We decided the first time hearts were played we would place our cards down. His said ‘we’re’ and mine said ‘pregnant. We laid the cards down on the table and immediately my brother jumped out of his chair yelling in celebration, my sister-in-law Jamie followed a few moments later after reading the cards but my parents couldn’t read the card and sat their looking confused until I said ‘we’re pregnant’! Everyone jumped out of their chairs, hugged and cried. It was truly a beautiful moment.

When we told Nicks mom, sister Jenna and her fiancé Andy, we had spent the whole day walking around West Van and had waited until the very end of the day to tell them. We had walked down to the seawall to take a picture and as we clicked the picture, Nick said ‘We’re Pregnant’! We thought we had surprised everyone and to our surprise. Andy pulled out a paper bag from under his arm that he had been carrying around all day and out came a bottle of sparkling non-alcoholic cider and 5 glasses. Nick and I were shocked, they all had suspected we were going to tell them and had the buble ready to celebrate! It was so incredibly special.

We told Nick’s dad and his wife Stella one day at the park in Fort Langley. Jenna and Andy had driven all the way from North Van to be a part of the special moment. We broke the news to Brian and Stella over coffee and scones. Stella was based in LA at the time and the loudest scream of excitement came booming out of the speaker phone. She immediately told us that she had just dreamt of me having a little boy the night before. This wasn’t the first time she had dreamt of me with a baby. The day I first held my nephew she phoned me to tell me she had a vision of me standing near a window holding a baby boy. That had literally happened earlier that day. It was amazing. We all celebrated with hugs and tears.

MORNING SICKNESS/FIRST TRIMESTER SYMPTOMS

The first trimester was quite difficult for me. In the beginning it was mostly nausea and exhaustion. However as things progressed the symptoms became a lot more difficult to manage. It started with food aversions that seemed to get worse every week. I went from craving gatorade and ice water to being repulsed by both and just about everything else.

Eventually I couldn’t keep any food or water down and got extremely dehydrated. I went from being nauseas to getting sick about 8-10 times per day. I began to worry I had hyperemesis graviderum so my midwife prescribed me diclectin for the nausea but I was scared of taking medication so avoided it for too long in hindsight. By the end of the second month I rarely left my bed or the couch and getting cleaned up was exhausting and therefore out of the question.

A TRIP TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM

A week or so later I began getting sick about 30-40 times per day and woke up the Tuesday morning before Halloween at 2am with excruciating back pain. After riding it out for two hours, Nick and I decided it was best to go to emergency, fearful that something could be seriously wrong with me or the baby.

We were at the hospital from about 4 am until 7pm the next evening. I had been given an IV to help with the dehydration which helped manage the pain slightly, We did a series of tests and an ultrasound which to our relief showed our babies heart was still beating strong.

They were unable to find a reason for the pain other than dehydration and an inflamed right kidney during that visit and we were scheduled to meet with a specialist the following week and get an additional ultrasound a few weeks later.

THE KIDNEY STONE

My parents came into town to help us cope as at this time I was unable to leave the bed. I had to take some time off from work and due to the unrelenting pain was scheduled in for a follow up emergency ultrasound on the Saturday morning. It was then that they found a 9mm kidney stone in my right kidney. We stayed in emergency for most of the day in case I could have emergency surgery that day but it turned out they couldn’t fit me in until the Sunday.

At this point I had been living with the kidney stone pain for quite some time without the ability to take the usual pain medication. When I did take Tylenol 3 (the strongest medication I could take that was safe for the baby) it would usually come back up as I was still unable to keep any food or liquids down. At the time of my surgery I had lost 22lbs since the day we found out we were expecting.

EMERGENCY SURGERY

Sunday (Halloween) came along and it was time for my emergency surgery (ureteroscopic lithotripsy). Before my doctor and anesthesiologist came to talk to me about the procedure I talked to our little baby and asked them to be strong. It was risky to do this surgery so early in the pregnancy and we didn’t know if our little baby would make it through.

The doctor and aneshesiologist decided the safest way to do the procedure was to give me an epidural rather than put me to sleep as it posed the least risk to the baby which meant I got to be awake for the entire surgery and the recovery time would be a little longer.

Luckily for me, I had an incredible doctor who was able to locate the kidney stone without using X-ray which could have harmed the baby. She was able to remove the stone safely using a camera, a laser and a basket to collect the broken up kidney stone. After the surgery, I was sent off to the recovery room.

It was there that a nurse was able to find our babies heartbeat with a fetal heart doppler. We weren’t sure the baby would make it through the surgery so hearing the sweet sound of its heart beating for the first time and knowing it had made it through was one of the most emotional moments of my life. I remember turning away from the nurses once they found the heartbeat, as I was embarrassed for them to see me cry.

I sat in recovery alone for hours not realizing Nick hadn’t been notified of how the procedure had gone. After 5 hours I asked if he had been notified that I and the baby were okay and that they had been able to remove the kidney stone. He was extremely relieved once he got the news and he promptly let my family know too. It was a huge load off after a very emotional and painful few weeks.

recovery

Recovery unfortunately was just as painful if not more painful than the stone itself. Following my procedure I had to keep a stent in which when not on pain killers can be extremely painful. I will be forever grateful to my parents and my husband for pressing ice on my back and side and holding a puke bucket for me as I screamed in agony and threw up from the pain. The extreme pain would usually last 30-45 minute at a time throughout the day. It was truly horrible and I would never wish it on anyone. The distress I was in was also bad for the baby so it added another level of emotion to it whenever I had a painful outbreak.

my mom cooking dinner for us while they took care of me for nearly a month.

The Friday following my surgery Nick removed my stent for me as I bit into a freezy and cried to Adele singing Skyfall over my iPhone speakers. The lyrics seemed so perfectly fitting for that moment

‘This is the end,

Hold your breath and count to ten…etc’

I will forever love Adele for serenading me in that moment. About 30 minutes after it was removed was the most excruciating pain I’ve ever felt in my life. It lasted 45 minutes and my family helped me through it, I don’t know how I could have done it without them.

my family hanging out with me when I was stuck in bed after my surgery.

After that day I was finally able to start eating a bit again and drinking water again, I started trying to walk again and leave the bed for short periods of time. I’m still regaining my strength as I write this about three weeks later but I’ve come so far since that day.

findING out the gender

On the Tuesday following my surgery, I had just fallen asleep after a really difficult bout of pain. Nick was still laying next to me and my parents were tidying up the room and placing the ice packs back in the freezer when my phone began to ring. I woke up, checked my phone and saw it was our midwifery calling.

When I answered the phone they explained our NIPT results had come back and that our baby was healthy and we were overjoyed. They asked if we wanted to know the gender and Nick and I turned to one another and agreed that yes, finding out together while lying in our bed seemed like the perfect way to find out.

our little boy at 10 weeks 5 days, just a few days before my emergency surgery.

She told us it was a little boy and we both instantly started crying. It was one of the most emotional moments of my life. We would have been so happy to have a boy or a girl but just knowing was such an amazing feeling after everything he and I had been through together. I could finally visualize who the little warrior was in there battling alongside me. I don’t think I stopped crying for an hour and a half.

We told my parents who cried and hugged us and we phoned family members and friends to let them know of the news. Everyone was so excited and happy for us. I think especially my nephew Theodore who will have a new little cousin to play with.

My dad ran out and got some boston creme donuts from Tim Hortons to celebrate. They were my grandpas’ favourite dessert so it’s a special little secret family treat on special occasions.

the second trimester

I’ve only just embarked on this new trimester and am hopeful that it will be the most enjoyable one as it is so often said to be. Wish me luck! I’ll keep you up to date as I work my way through it.

BUMP UPDATES

18 weeks and my bump has finally made it’s debut.

Thank you so much for reading along.

Best,

Lauren