WHY WE CHOSE A MIDWIFE AND HOW IT’S GOING
LIFESTYLE
WHY WE CHOSE A MIDWIFE AND HOW IT’S GOING
When it comes to choosing your birthing partner, it can be stressful, especially when it’s the first time around.
When it came to choosing what seemed like the best fit for us, I did as much research as I could. I asked friends and family members about their experiences and recommendations, read books, researched online and talked to my family doctor.
After a lot of thought and consideration we decided to go with a midwifery over a the hospital medical clinic and I’ll explain why below and in addition how our experience has gone thus far.
researching
RESEARCHING online/READING BOOKS
*If you don’t have time to read books, audio books are amazing. I would listen to them while working, walking or taking a bath.
What I learned through reading books was mostly that you should make your decision early on in your pregnancy. Especially if you’re interested in going with a midwifery they can book up quickly, so it’s better to look into clinics around you as soon as you know you’re expecting and contact them to find out if they have space for you.
I also thought having an OB was an option but I learned that you are referred to an OB if you have a high risk pregnancy or a complicated pregnancy for other reasons. At least that’s the case where I live. You can also be transferred to an OB during the birthing process if complications arise that are beyond your care providers training.
TALKING TO friends and family
I asked a lot of friends and family members about their experiences, watched YouTube videos and read blog posts. I asked women who delivered with midwives and without.
What I learned was each person’s experience was so unique and that what you envision your birth experience to be won’t always be how it unfolds. It’s important to have a bit of an open mind and be mentally prepared that everything won’t go exactly the way you planned.
Additionally, each person is looking for something different and what’s right for one person isn’t necessarily right for you.
Here are some of the key takeaways I had from my conversations that impacted my decision:
If you’re thinking of going with a midwifery, do your research. Read testimonials and make sure that the reviews line up with what you’re looking for. I had a lot of pre-conceived notions about midwives before I started researching on them and truthfully thought I was going to go the medical clinic route. Each midwifery is different and you’re not guaranteed which midwife will be on call for your big day so make sure you like and can meet all or most of the midwives throughout your pregnancy. You should have an appointment about once a month so this should be doable.
If there’s something important to you about your birth plan ask your potential care provider if they will be able to support you in that decision.
Epidurals: having the choice to have an epidural is something my mom really wants for me. Sometimes things don’t go as planned and even though you wanted one, it’s not possible. But if it’s important to you, make sure all the midwives at the midwifery you are interviewing are open to this idea. I know of one case where someone got stuck with the midwife on call that seemed to delay the epidural as long as possible in hopes that it wouldn’t happen. (this is just one midwife, which is why it’s important to like and meet all the midwives at your clinic throughout your pregnancy and to double check ahead of time if this is something that’s important to you). You can always switch from a midwifery to a health clinic if it’s not feeling like a good fit for you.
Home births: If having a home birth is important to you, a midwife will most likely be the best option (at-least to my knowledge), however midwives also delivery babies in hospitals (this may be differ from midwifery to midwifery though, I’m not sure).
One of the greatest benefits of using a midwifery is that you get a lot more time at each of your appointments. They only take on so many clients so you get more care and attention. If this is your first pregnancy that can be extra valuable as you may have more questions and concerns as you go through the process.
When asking friends and family members questions make sure to ask about things that are important to you. Get a wide variety of perspectives if you can. This will help paint a broader picture of the different scenarios that can arise with midwives and with a medical clinic so when you’re weighing your pros and cons, you have more to go off of.
TALKING TO OUR FAMILY DOCTOR
I talked to my doctor after having done my own research and talking to friends and family. I was able to bring up my concerns with her based on those conversations and get her perspective.
She really felt that you couldn’t go wrong either way and that the main difference in choosing a medical clinic and a midwifery was the amount of time you would get and specialized care (you will get more time and specialized care with a midwifery) at each appointment throughout your pregnancy.
Additionally, if you want to have a home birth that is something midwives can support with. (another note here, your first appointments will most likely be with your family doctor. I saw my family doctor until my first appointment at the midwifery.)
MAKING OUR DECISION
We definitely didn’t make our decision over night, if you read the section above you’ll know we put a lot of thought into it. We eventually landed on the decision to use a midwifery and here’s why:
We found a clinic in our area that had fantastic and consistent reviews (that were in line with the experience we were looking to have).
We want to deliver in a hospital and our midwifery does this often.
It was located close by and had 5 midwives on the team with loads of experience. They made it clear that it was their priority for us to meet every midwife before giving birth so we wouldn’t be meeting someone for the first time on the big day.
They responded to my call promptly and showed they would be attentive and easy to get a hold of. (They have always been quick to respond to emails and phone calls).
The first midwife we met with was so kind and caring and absolutely someone I would feel comfortable with having in the room and helping me on the day (the most important part if you ask me).
The medical clinic we would have been assigned to was located in the hospital and I really didn’t want to be going in and out of the hospital during covid. That was a personal choice for me.
I loved that I would get more time in each session (i.e. an hour opposed to 30 or less minutes) to ask questions and be checked over.
I was able to get into the midwifery for regular scheduled appointments a lot faster than I would’ve at the clinic. Because the midwifery only takes on so many patients you have an easier time booking in for appointments.
OUR EXPERIENCE SO FAR
Our experience with the midwifery so far has been super positive. We’ve met three midwives so far and each one has been so kind, relatable, friendly and has had a great sense of humour. We really feel like we hit the jackpot.
When it came to arrranging our NIPT test it was incredibly easy, they handled the entire thing and even contacting a nurse to come to our home to collect my blood and mail the packet for us. This turned out to be incredibly convenient as this happened the Wednesday before my kidney stone surgery (which happened on the Sunday) and I was incredibly sick. Leaving the house was out of the question and the fact that we could still have the test done in the comfort of our own home and without having to wait until I was well enough to go into a clinic to do it was hugely helpful. (if you missed my post about my pregnancy so far, you can read it here).
When I had my kidney stone I was able to call them and email them to keep them informed on the situation. They were incredibly supportive and comforting when answering our questions and concerns.
They’ve been so accommodating as well. When I was still so sick after my kidney stone surgery, they didn’t bat an eye when we asked if we could do our monthly check-up over the phone as I was too sick to come in. As soon as I let them know I was well enough to come in for the babies heart beat check-up, they stayed after hours that very day so we could come in and make sure our babies heart was still going strong after all he and I had been through.
When they phoned to let us know the results of our NIPT test, they were kind, supportive and friendly on the phone and when we found out the gender over the phone on that call our midwife was genuinely happy, emotional and excited for us. It makes a huge difference to have someone who cares on the other line if you choose to find out that way.
We’ve never felt rushed at a session, we always have been given the time to ask all the questions we have and those questions are met with really thoughtful, comforting and knowledgeable answers. Of course, I’m only about halfway through our journey so I’ll keep you up to date on how it goes as things progress but so far, so good.
This has just been our experience and I’ve never experienced the medical clinic version of this so I can’t say it would be greatly different or not but we are very happy with our choice so far.
Just remember, you have to choose the option that feels right for you, not someone else.
